Dispirited

I was originally tempted to title this piece "People are cunts", but thought better of it.
I receive a newsletter from news.com.au each day. Sometimes I click on a link and have a read of some of the reader comments. This is a bitter-sweet experience for me, because as well as reminding me that I am somewhere near the top of the pile of humanity in this city, it also reminds me that that is not really that difficult.

Two stories have really stirred the vitriol of the yahoos. The death of a 16 year old girl in a car accident last week and the road rage attack on a young mother and her two children this week. I really can't bring myself to comment further, other than to say that some of the comments sicken me.

I try hard every day to have faith that humanity is ostensibly good, filled with love and the universal spirit. The days I don't read the comments section, it is easier.

Footy bash dad 'banned for life'

This bloke or someone very like him is most likely at just about every junior sporting fixture around the country. Granted, most of them have enough restraint not to belt a child, but it is simmering there all the same. I will readily admit to a visceral desire to snot any little bastard I feel has dealt unfairly with one of my boys (Fatness, how did you live through your "sporting" years), but, what raises us above the lower animals is our ability to reason, not to immediately react as our instincts bid us.

But is it all one way traffic? A number of times this season I have been appalled to hear some foul-mouthed little turd has given a referee or a linesman a spray that even someone with my scatalogical vocabulary would be proud of, with no repercussions from coach or parent. I'm not going to start banging on about how "in my day" we respected adults (i.e. were too afraid of) too much to even dare answer back, let alone suggest they were in fact sight impaired female pudenda performing a primary procreational function, but todays parents do have a lot to answer for. Not only for the way they raise their own children, but for how they interact with other people's.

Jason Akermanis looks like a dick....

....or at least he does now that Channel 7 decided to name Michael Braun as the player Akermanis says he suspected had taken performance enhancing drugs in this piece at the Herald Sun. With Braun's manager threatening to sue the pants of anyone within arms reach, Akermanis must be wishing that Seven had kept their mouth shut, at least until the AFL and/or ASADA had investigated the matter. Now he has no option but to either stand by his allegations and risk being sued, or back down from his story. If he does run the legal gauntlet, and it costs him money, he will look like a dick. If he backs down, he will look like a dick.

If it looks like a dick and quacks like a dick............

Read this book

My 14 year old son has to do a book report for school. It can be on any book of his choice and he has chosen "Scar Tissue" by Anthony Kiedis with Larry Sloman. It is Kiedis' life story with apparently nothing held back. I was between books when it came home so I swooped on it Wednesday evening to flick through, maybe read on the toilet. It's now Friday morning and I am on page 350 of this 450 page book. I simply cannot put it down.

Kiedis frankly details his early life and friendships and is harrowingly frank about his drug use and abuse. It is one of the most honest portrayals of a drug addict that I have read, openly detailing the euphoria of the hunt and score (or 'cop') as well as the blackness and despair of being lost in the need. Amongst it all is his love of his music and drive to be different. It is a fascinating read.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Fred reading it though. The message I get from the book about drugs is not "don't do drugs, they're evil" but more like "drugs are great fun, but they fucked me up". That message translates well as a warning to someone with a little life experience, but to an invincible 14 year old boy who processes everything through his "it couldn't happen to me" filter, I'm not so sure. I guess I can only give him the benefit of my experience and trust in him. Raising a teenaged boy is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Raising is the wrong word, I guess, I think guiding is probably a better word.

But that's another thought and another post

Apathy?

Recently I was informed that I was caustic and apathetic. Since then I have been wondering why this offended me, what chord deep down did it strike? As anybody who knows me can tell you, I have been called a lot worse. I have been gradually driving myself deeper into despair because it had a ring of truth. Was it the "caustic" comment that cut me? All my life I have been fairly quick on my feet, verbally, and found out early doors that the best way to deflect focus from your shortcomings is to point out the absurdities of someone else. As I've got older and more enlightened, I still make fun, but confess to the odd twinge of guilt when I do.
But surely that wasn't it? I've been aware of that for a long time and am doing my best, if not to moderate it, then at least come to terms with it. It was definitely the apathy thing. There are times when my eyes glaze over and the conversation sounds like "blah". Surely I should have a greater stake in the things being discussed? Not necessarily. Do you know why?

Because its not fucking interesting.

I am 43 years old and one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt in that time is that I don't have to put up with bullshit. I have too many tangible issues in my life to fake curiosity or concern for someone elses fabricated concerns.

I say fabricated because I know damn well that there is no likelihood of contributing anything worthwhile to the solution of the problem. Life has led me to observe what I call the "Who Cares Most" principle. It's really just a simple observation about how people react to stimuli and consequence. People provided with the right stimulus in the absence of overwhelming consequence will make a contribution. Consequences like losing your job because you quit to go protesting the plight of caged bears, in my case, would be a deterrent. Some people may possess a greater passion for these things and will follow their words with action.

Otherwise it's just all hot air, worthy of passing discussion, maybe, but certainly not my attention. Moral of the story, if you would like to engage my interest, talk about something interesting. Otherwise my caustic side may resurface and I'll tell you exactly why I'm not listening.

Monday, bloody Monday

Just one of those days. My monkeysphere has shrunk to record low numbers. But why should you care?

Five of Swords

From (and for) mi amica bella


"FIVE OF SWORDS: BE DETERMINED TO MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TODAY. OTHERS WILL ADJUST IN THEIR OWN TIME....

all i can say is it gets might lonely when you are always so far ahead of everyone else. why do i have to continually wait on others. let me tell you now, its just easier if things get done my way first time around and then i wont have to wait for others to adjust in their own time. its not just their time. its my time too..... why don't you just all stop dilly dallying around and hurry the FLICK up!!!
what have you got to blog about that ranxy????
that text killed my positive attitude."

So I thought I'd look up the Five of Swords.

acting in your own self-interest
setting aside the concerns of others
looking out for number one
thinking of your own needs
knowing you must concentrate on yourself
encountering selfishness
indulging in power plays
gloating
going for the win-lose result
experiencing discord
being in a hostile environment
feeling people are set against each other
choosing to battle
having an "us-against-them" mentality
creating ill will
experiencing conflict
witnessing open dishonor
losing your moral compass
letting ends justify means
sacrificing integrity
losing sight of what is right
achieving a dubious victory
knowing of criminal activity





Not a lot of positivity in any of those definitions, but read in the context of the accompanying email, the Five of Swords sounds like the right card. There is little point becoming impatient that the world will not adjust itself to suit your needs. It is difficult to affect the external stimuli in your life in a predictable way, all you can do is manage how you filter and react to them. If it is important to you that things be done your way (control freak) then your options are hope that people will do it your way or do it yourself. Saying that you are ahead of everyone else implies that you know where you are going and that "others" are going to follow you. Do they know where you are going? Or are you asking they trust blindly in your divine right to lead? Do they even know they are expected to follow? It's not just your time, it's their time too. It is just your journey, unless you include others in it, but once you do, it is never going to go 100% your way. That's the beauty of it, the unpredictablilty of it all. The travelling partners you pick up and leave behind when you find a different direction or that leave you behind as their priorities and goals change. You can encourage the ones you want to follow you, (which is more likely to happen if you display a positive attitude), or you can piss and moan that life is unfair because it isn't going the way you planned. I like to think I'm one of the former type of people that slips occasionally. I love nothing more than to rant and rave when I feel things are not going my way, but only in short bursts ;-)

Don't read the news.....

....just the headlines

Every day I promise myself I'm not going to read the news, but I can't help myself.
If I did keep my promise, I would miss out on gems like these two. Oddly enough, they both come from the South of the USA.

In an endeavour to stop a man doused in petrol from setting himself alight, police shot him with a Taser. Really.

The next one is about a couple who fell to their deaths in flagrante delicto. A pretty sad story, but a headline writers dream.

Naked couple's sex death plunge

Lazy

I have been extremely lazy in keeping this updated, but that's partly because I'm experimenting with different ways of expressing myself (poetry and song writing at the moment is a heap of fun) and partly because I spend what little free computer time I have reading other people's blogs. If you have a few minutes, visit Sweet Namasté. I read it a few months back and thought "meh", but since then she has moved on and is living with a family on the West Bank. Her pictures and stories humanise the Middle East without the heavy, depressing rhetoric of most of the stories I come across. It makes me aware that my time could be better spent without completely quashing my hope.

HBTM HBTM HBDM HBTM HHH HHH HHH*

Woo hoo!! The Foundation Day long weekend once again coincides perfectly with my birthday. Unlike certain people (Norm, Woz, Jillie, I'm looking at you) I love making a big deal of my birthday. Not because it's my birthday, but purely because I'm more likely to get "Yes" when I invite people over. I just love to surround myself with friends and family and my birthday is the perfect excuse, a sort of mid year Christmas. So if the weather stays fine, Sunday will find me basking in the backyard drinking and making merry, while my friends come and worship at the altar of me. If it rains, I hope we fit in the shed.

Just hope no one brings any myrrh. :-)

*Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear me
Happy Birthday to me
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Hooray